A Parenting Plan Checklist for Life in Two Homes

A parenting plan needs to make sense on an ordinary Wednesday, not only on the day it is written. Who knows about the school trip? Where are the winter boots? What happens when a shift changes or a child is ill?

This parenting plan checklist helps you turn those everyday questions into a discussion agenda. It is a starting point for creating a parenting plan that reflects your children's needs, with legal advice before you finalize arrangements.

Start with your children's daily lives

Before comparing calendars, describe the routine each child is living now. Include school or childcare, sleep, activities, friendships, transportation and any medical needs. Note what is working as well as what has become difficult.

Try completing these prompts for each child:

• A routine that helps this child feel settled is…

• A transition that currently takes extra planning is…

• Information both homes need to receive is…

• A practical concern we have not yet resolved is…

Different children in the same family may have different needs. Keep observations specific. “The sports equipment was missing twice this month” is more useful for planning than “The other home is disorganized.”

Parenting time: map a real fortnight

Write out two ordinary weeks, including mornings and evenings. A pattern that looks clear when counted in nights can become confusing around school pickup, professional activity days or a parent's rotating shifts.

Your parenting schedule discussion can cover:

• Where each child will be on school nights and weekends.

• Pickup and drop-off times, locations and transportation.

• What happens on a day when school or childcare is closed.

• How requests for a one-time change will be communicated.

• How belongings, medication and school materials will move between homes.

A hypothetical detail such as “pickup at the school's main entrance after dismissal” is more precise than “after school.” It may still need an alternative for a closure or an absent child. The aim is to find the questions hidden inside everyday phrases.

Decision-making: identify what needs a process

Parenting time and decision-making responsibility raise different questions. Ask your lawyer what your current agreement or parenting order provides and what any proposed change would mean.

For discussion purposes, list recurring decisions: education, non-emergency health care, activities and other significant matters in your child's life. Then ask what information would be needed before a decision could be made, how it would be shared and what happens if parents disagree.

For example, a proposal to start music lessons might need the lesson schedule, total cost and transportation details. Sending only a registration link leaves several decisions unanswered.

Communication: choose a workable routine

A communication plan should help each parent find the information they need without turning every message into a new argument.

Consider one agreed channel for routine information, a way to identify urgent matters and realistic expectations for replies. An ordinary scheduling request and an urgent medical update should not depend on the same response window.

Discuss how school notices will reach both homes. Where appropriate, each parent receiving information directly from the school can reduce the need to forward every message. Confirm what the school requires and what any existing order permits.

Children should not have to carry requests, collect payments or explain disagreements. Put adult communication responsibilities with the adults.

Holidays, school breaks and special occasions

List the dates that matter to your family instead of assuming a standard holiday calendar covers them. Include cultural or religious celebrations, birthdays, school breaks and traditions involving extended family.

Discuss when a holiday period starts and ends, whether it replaces the usual schedule and how ordinary parenting time resumes. If parents alternate a holiday each year, record which year starts the pattern.

Imagine a school break beginning on Friday afternoon and a holiday meal planned for Sunday. A plan saying “alternate the holiday” leaves Friday, Saturday and the return to school unresolved. A calendar exercise makes those gaps visible before the date arrives.

Expenses and practical responsibilities

Keep the practical questions connected without treating every issue as the same legal question. Arranging transportation to an activity is different from deciding who must pay for it. Child support and additional expenses need appropriate financial information and legal advice.

For planning purposes, ask how proposed costs will be discussed, which receipts or details will be exchanged and how questions will be raised. Avoid registering a child first and assuming the financial arrangement will follow.

Build in a way to review the parenting plan

A useful plan anticipates that circumstances may change. Identify a way to raise a concern, the information needed to discuss it and what support to seek if a conversation stalls.

Choose observations that can be discussed without asking children to judge either parent. For example: Are exchanges repeatedly late? Are activities being missed? Has a new school timetable changed travel demands?

Reviewing a problem does not itself change an agreement or order. Ask your lawyer how any agreed revision should be recorded and made effective.

Use the checklist to prepare, not to decide everything alone

The Department of Justice Canada's parenting plan checklist is another resource for identifying topics. Completing a checklist does not, by itself, create a legally effective parenting agreement.

For your own notes, mark each topic “working,” “needs discussion” or “needs advice.” That simple sorting exercise can keep a meeting focused. It also recognizes the arrangements you already manage well.

If communication or safety concerns make joint planning difficult, raise those privately with the professional helping you. A cooperative-looking calendar is not enough if a parent cannot participate freely.

Get support for the conversations that remain

Forward Family Mediation's parenting plan mediation provides a neutral setting to explore unresolved arrangements. If you want support with your own communication and approach to parenting after separation, parenting coaching may address a different need.

You can book a free introductory call to discuss mediation and identify a practical next step. Bring the questions you have; you do not need a completed parenting plan before you reach out.